Near Conscious

The innocence of a little girl over time turning into a young woman’s growing awareness of a her sexual powers. The natural world reigns all around, a raging sea nearby and a cowshed in her back yard accompany her transformations and coming of age as she tries to balance the forces of her own human nature, still childlike and virginal. Tenderness opposite intransigence. As in life, and in photographs, the inner experience is released and a new truth is created. I began photographing my sister because at first I didn’t have many other options. My sister was available most of the time and unusually obedient. As time went on I felt I couldn’t let her go. I be- came obsessed with her. I couldn’t imagine my- self photographing anyone else, though I tried, unsuccessfully. We met up every Saturday for some quality time, the camera always present, and at times assisting us by making the silence more comfortable. Neither of us is a big talker. The work was completed on its own. The images created a new reality, a life of fantasy neither of us had previously experienced. In my photographs I revisit my past and childhood, moving back and forth between my mother’s and father’s homes in the same village. Memories of that time have virtually been entirely erased from my mind and my past remains vague and blurred. My sister grew up in the house where I lived as a child. She was born after I left my father’s home to live with my mother, and immediately filled the void I had left behind. My bed, the mirror hanging over it and my writing desk were given the scent Her innocent and melancholy beauty is exhibited in the moment before it be-comes aware of itself and its surroundings, through my eyes, through my charged and complicated perspective. The photographs become life itself, yet more realistic and coherent. My little sister, Ella, is my main subject. She gives herself entirely to the camera, to me, and together we relive my child- hood. Now I play the role of rulemaker.